


i want to scream it into the abyss (i love you, i love you)

by Sousha



Series: bandori rarepair week [2]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: (They Live Together), Bandori Rarepair Week 2019, Clothes swap, Established Relationship, F/F, Future Fic, Sharing Clothes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 02:57:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19368583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sousha/pseuds/Sousha
Summary: chisato's about to say "let's go," so they can leave and meet up with aya when she sees that her girlfriend isn't wearing her own clothes. hina's wearing yellow.-bandori rarepair week, day two. clothes swap.





	i want to scream it into the abyss (i love you, i love you)

“Change back into your own clothes,” Chisato said firmly, sighing as she sat down on her bed. The balance of the bed rocked to her side and she shifted slightly to the right to keep it balanced. She was replied with by a familiar elongated whine. The blonde simply didn’t say a word, hoping her message would get through without having to repeat herself. It wasn’t hard to understand, after all.

Chisato resisted the urge to really see Hina in her clothes. They probably fit on her well. Maybe it would be a bit small since Hina had hit a late growth spurt lately and the height difference between them became something noticeable. But that wasn't the problem.

Hina sighed and jumped onto the bed right to the side of her, almost touching. She sat down lazily and relaxed her body completely, a harsh difference from how stiff Chisato always seemed to be. Then she exclaimed, still with a distinct whine in her tone. She noted that the other girl looked like a dog making puppy dog eyes, except what she wanted wasn’t food. “But I like wearing your clothes! It’s boppin’ to wear your clothes, Chisato-chan!”

An inhale and exhale. She began to speak softly, but it slowly turned a little louder and grim. It was hard to vocalize what she felt, it always left a bit of a sting in her chest. “People will think that we’re in a relationship if you parade around wearing my clothes. You know what fans are like. Even if they assume it’s just friendly, they’ll wonder.” A pause. She looked at Hina and she still didn’t seem to understand. “If a single photo of you wearing my whole outfit leaks, there’s going to be the potential for a scandal. Who knows what could happen then? I’ve told you, the staff has told you, we can’t show any outward signs of our affection being more than platonic.”

The other girl could only grab a cushion and hug it with a sad expression. Chisato knew that despite intellectually understanding it to some extent, the other girl had never internalized or truly understood what could happen. It was hard to always have to repeat herself. Hina began her whine again. “I don’t get it though! It doesn’t matter if people think we’re in a relationship, since we’re in a relationship, right? Why can’t we just tell everyone we’re dating?”

“We’re idols, Hina-chan. The people who are our fans want to imagine us in relationships with them, with each other, but never actually, truly with someone. That’s how this industry works. We’ve been over this.” She paused with a dry throat. It was hard to think about, the looming future that could await if they slipped up. “I’ll tell you what happens to an idol in the worst case scenario.”

Hina didn’t say anything, simply leaning in a little closer with a curious yet worried expression. “She's a new idol, a rising star, talented at singing, dancing, talking to fans, all of that. She's called perfect by everyone who knew her and was quickly getting a loyal, obsessive following. But she got into a romantic scandal with someone, dating another idol who is also popular. Then the path crumbled under her feet. After being caught, her sales diminished, due to her fans feeling betrayed, losing a lot of her best fans.mThat’s why we can’t risk this. Everything might go wrong.”

The other girl’s usual natural smile was absent, replaced by a sadder smile. She looked to the floor at a lowered angle, disappointed. Then she resigned herself and stood up. “Alright!” Then she smiled without sadness, and it was genuine in some ways. She was excited to go out and hang out, she was naturally happy. But her smile felt a bit shaky. “I’ll go change and then we can go meet up with Aya-chan! It’s too bad Maya-chan and Eve-chan couldn’t make it though!”

“I’m sorry for disappointing you,” Chisato said immediately, slightly nervous as she looked at the other girl’s eyes. Hina was never downtrodden much, smiling through hardships and finding it fun or interesting in the end. But still, she was probably tired of hearing the rules of an industry that she would never truly understand. “Let’s have a fun day.”

“Yeah!” Hina replied happily, leaving to change. Once she was gone, the blonde felt a bit winded, as if an angel had come and left within a matter of seconds. It wasn’t a logical thought, yet it seemed the slight guilt made her wish the other girl didn’t leave. Chisato sat back down on her bed and checked her smartphone to see if Aya had sent anything. There was nothing.

But why did she feel guilty? She was saying the truth. There was no way around the facts that she spoke. They couldn’t reveal their relationship, they couldn’t just go around wearing each other’s clothes, because who knew if it could start making people more curious, more likely to seek out evidence of an idol dating someone. There were people who publicly dated others, of course, but why would they even do that, logically? It was always a gamble.

Then she remembered that Pastel*Palettes had started out as a gamble. It was a gamble she didn’t plan to keep on with but a gamble that paid in the long run. Chisato silently opened her phone to see a wallpaper of her and her bandmates hanging out together. Then she pressed her album and was greeted by a photo of Hina, then her dog, then a selfie with her and Aya. She realized as she traced her smile with a finger in one of her photos, that she was happier than she had ever been. No, she had realized it long before.

Saying that she’s giving it a try after Hina confessed to her the second time was a gamble. Chisato closed her eyes and smiled softly. Maybe gambles weren’t always that bad. High risk and high reward. It just depended on how it ended up. The thought was something the laid-back, optimistic Hina would believe in much stronger than Chisato could ever bring herself to do, though. It was an uncertainty that she would always harbor in her heart. Maybe it was important that she always had it somewhere in her, to keep Hina from the crushing disappointment that came when things went wrong.

So maybe it was one step at a time for her, and probably for her girlfriend too. That’s how everything always was.

“Chisato-chan! I’m done changing!” Hina shouted with a grin on her face as she came back to the bed in her regular clothes. She was better, she always recovered easily from disappointment. Maybe for Hina, it was just mildly disappointed she couldn’t wear Chisato’s clothes out. She was just reprimanded for something she kind of wanted to do and that was it. Maybe that was a good thing, that Hina let things go and Chisato didn’t. “It’s not as boppin’ as going out while trying your clothes on, but I bet our day out will be really fun!”

A pause. The sharp swallow of a girl in thought. “Hina-chan, I’ll do it someday,” Chisato said softly, almost a whisper. She stood up and took Hina’s hand into her own, taking it as a promise. “One day, I’ll take that gamble. Not today, but someday.”

Hina smiled fondly as she spoke happily that Chisato seemed less serious. The turquoise-haired girl held her hand tighter and looked at Chisato obliviously. “What are you talking about?”

Of course, she was oblivious as to what she meant. That was how Hina always was — it was endearing.

“Nothing,” Chisato said with a smile. Then she let go of the other girl’s hand and grabbed her yellow striped purse, draping it over her shoulder. As she took a step, she pecked Hina’s cheek playfully. Things would only look up from there. No matter what happened. “Let’s go, wouldn’t want to keep Aya-chan waiting.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's day three technically, but I only finished day two's one-shot today, so I'm a day behind. I just couldn't get anything written last night. I have a headcanon that Hina suddenly gets a growth spurt to match Sayo's height by the way and, like, I just crave that. This fic was barely even "clothes swap" in the end but I'm not really into that kind of prompt in the first place so give me a break. I ended up just writing more about the no dating thing for idols. I'm interested in it a lot because I feel like Chisato would be very conscious of it while Hina would not. I don't know how accurate to real life this is, though. Maybe idols dating is taken better than I thought? But I'm only into anime idols so, haha! Anyways I find it interesting. 
> 
> I'll try to get day three out soon, which will probably end up being on day four. It's like eleven thirty right now so sdsdsjsjd- I'm not as satisfied with this as I wish I was, though. It's late and I'm tired, this is shorter than I imagined it to be, and I have no critical judgment when I'm sleepy. I'll just have to reread it tomorrow morning haha.
> 
> Anyways, stan HinaChisa! I love them so much.
> 
> (This takes place in the same continuity as the stargazing fic, by the way!)


End file.
